CDs, Posters, T-Shirts, Tanktops, Thongs, 8x10s, Ties, and Autographed Gifts!
   plus:  GET YOUR NAME PRINTED IN THE CREDITS OF THE NEXT RICHARD CHEESE CD!  
START SHOPPING BELOW!
Richard Cheese has released 8 fabulous CDs since 2000, and he's releasing 4 more all-new CDs in 2009/2010,
including his latest album "VIVA LA VODKA," available exclusively here at shop.richardcheese.com!

JOIN THE OFFICIAL
RICHARD CHEESE SUPERFAN FUNCLUB
GET RICHARD CHEESE'S NEW "VIVA LA VODKA" CD,
PLUS 2 NEW CDs SENT TO YOU IN 2009/2010!

Join the Richard Cheese Super Fan Fun Club and you'll receive Richard's all-new live album "Viva La Vodka" sent to you immediately.  AND, you'll AUTOMATICALLY receive Richard Cheese's new "OK Bartender" CD and "Lavapalooza" CD, sent to you months before they're released in stores in 2009/2010.  Plus, you'll also receive 3 MORE BONUS CDs, 2 STICKERS, and more!

 6 CDs FOR ONE LOW PRICE!

 

CLICK HERE! super.richardcheese.com

click for details

"Genius!"
-- Director Zack Snyder

Richard Cheese presents a collection of all-new live performances from 2000-2008, including songs recorded live in Washington D.C., Las Vegas, New Orleans, Chicago, and Hollywood.  Enjoy the "live" Lounge Against The Machine experience on this extra long album, as Dick introduces each tune, interacts with the audience, and even orders a cocktail from the bar right in the middle of a song.  The album includes a "studio" recording of Coldplay's song "Viva La Vida" with Dick playing the piano himself!

VIVA LA VODKA CD $8.99 [ $4.23 S&H ]

click for details

"Groovy!"
-- Marcia Brady

The "Dick At Nite" CD features 13 jazzy TV Themes, and the iTunes version of the "Dick At Nite" album has 16 tracks, including 3 extra songs!

Also available on iTunes:  music-only instrumental "karaoke" tracks of 12 "Dick At Nite" songs!  Just search iTunes for "Richard Cheese."

DICK AT NITE CD $5.99 [ $4.23 S&H ]

click for details

"It swings like
Santa's BALLS!!"
-- Will Lee and the
CBS Orchestra

This album features 14 fabulous seasonal songs, including Richard Cheese's original holiday hit "Christmas In Las Vegas."  Don't miss Dick's yuletide takes on songs he THINKS are about the holidays, like "Personal Jesus," "Like A Virgin," Rush's "The Trees," and Beyonce's "Naughty Girl."  It's fun for the whole family...maybe.

SILENT NIGHTCLUB CD $9.99 [ $4.23 S&H ]

click for details

"This guy may be
the best lounge
singer ever…
or at least the
best dressed."
-- Desert Living Magazine

This greatest hits collection includes 4 all-new tracks, 8 classic favorites, plus 6 newly re-recorded big band versions of RC's earliest songs, now better than ever. This is the perfect introductory CD to expose your friends to Dick!

 

SUNNY SIDE OF THE MOON CD $9.99 [ $4.23 S&H ]

click for details

"It's GREAT!"
-- Patton Oswalt, Comedian 

This critically-acclaimed album features 16 all-new songs, including a special duet with a surprise celebrity guest!  The CD also includes the song "Me So Horny," which is NOT available on the iTunes version of the album! 

 NOTE
^‡THE SONG "ME SO HORNY" IS NOT AVAILABLE ON iTunes.  IT IS ONLY AVAILABLE ON THIS CD!

A new LIVE version of ME SO HORNY is available on the new "VIVA LA VODKA" CD!

 

APERITIF FOR DESTRUCTION CD $9.99 [ $4.23 S&H ]

click for details

"The most ironic
tribute act on
the planet."
-- Los Angeles Times

With 22 tracks, this is the longest Dick there is!  Don't miss the exclusive "live" tracks, plus a rare "secret" audio track only available on CDs purchased from this website (this secret audio is not available on iTunes!).

 NOTE
THIS CD VERSION OF "I'D LIKE A VIRGIN" CONTAINS SECRET MATERIAL THAT IS NOT AVAILABLE ON "I'D LIKE A VIRGIN" CDs SOLD IN RETAIL STORES!

 

I'D LIKE A VIRGIN CD $5.99 [ $4.23 S&H ]

click for details

"Although we have
mixed feelings about
this kind of shit, we
couldn't help but be
amused."
-- Revolver Magazine

Richard Cheese debuted his live band on this swanktacular 18-song CD, which also includes a special tribute to Britney Spears!  This album also features secret sound clips between tracks...can you identify the celebrity voices?

TUXICITY CD $5.99 [ $4.23 S&H ]

click for details

"This is great!"
-- Bono, U2

Richard Cheese's debut album includes the original "early" versions of some of your favorite Richard Cheese songs, which were later re-recorded with a real live big band for Dick's 2006 CD "THE SUNNY SIDE OF THE MOON: THE BEST OF RICHARD CHEESE" (on sale above). 

 

LOUNGE AGAINST THE MACHINE CD $9.99 [ $4.23 S&H ]

signed by Dick!

Buy any one of Richard Cheese's eight CDs and Richard will
personally autograph it to you or to someone on your gift list!

 

AUTOGRAPH ADD-ON $4.00 [ $0.01+$3.99 S&H ] ENTER NAME FOR AUTOGRAPH HERE: (keep it short, first name only, no messages!)

IT'S ALL THE DICK YOU NEED!

The perfect way to begin your Richard Cheese collection, this starter kit includes 14 swingin' items:  eight Richard Cheese CDs, a shirt of your choice, two stickers, a photo, and a handsome cardboard box!  And, your order will be sent via U.S. Priority Mail!

 

RICHARD CHEESE STARTER KIT $54.00 [ $13.23 priority S&H ] SELECT SHIRT/SIZE MENS VEGAS M MENS VEGAS L MENS VEGAS XL MENS VEGAS XXL GIRLS VEGAS S GIRLS VEGAS M I LOVE DICK TANK S I LOVE DICK TANK M I LOVE DICK TANK L I LOVE DICK TANK XL

STARTER KIT INCLUDES:
LOUNGE AGAINST THE MACHINE CD
TUXICITY CD
I'D LIKE A VIRGIN CD
APERITIF FOR DESTRUCTION CD
SUNNY SIDE OF THE MOON CD
SILENT NIGHTCLUB CD
DICK AT NITE CD
VIVA LA VODKA CD
LAVAPALOOZA STICKER
VEGAS STICKER
SHIRT/TANKTOP (your choice)
PHOTO
CARDBOARD BOX

PLUS:

free priority shipping

 NOTE
Autographed items not
available with this offer.
No substitutions.

8 CDs
ALL 8 CDs FOR 1 LOW PRICE, ONLY $42!

Start your Richard Cheese music collection with all eight of his swanky CDs, sent to you via U.S. Priority Mail!  Buying each CD separately would cost you more than $70!  YOU SAVE BIG!

CD 8-PACK:

 

CD 8-PACK (8 CDs) $42.00 [ $9.56 priority S&H ]

 NOTE
Autographed items not
available with this offer.
No substitutions.

free priority shipping*

RICHARD CHEESE CD TRIPLE-PACK
THREE CDs FOR ONE LOW PRICE!

Complete your collection of Cheese with these three fabulous CDs!  You'll get Richard Cheese's "Tuxicity," "I'd Like A Virgin," and "Dick At Nite" albums, all for one incredibly low price!
 

 

CD TRIPLE-PACK (3 CDs) TUXICITY + I'D LIKE A VIRGIN + DICK AT NITE $11.99 [ $4.97 S&H ]

CD TRIPLE-PACK
CONTENTS:
TUXICITY CD
I'D LIKE A VIRGIN CD
DICK AT NITE CD

 NOTE
Autographed items not
available with this offer.

No substitutions.

Inspired by the famous "Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas" sign, these "Welcome To Fabulous Richard Cheese" T-Shirts are the ultimate in casino couture!  And, each shirt size is packaged in one of 7 different "compressed shape" packages!  Fun!

◄   see shape 'n' size chart!

YOUTH GIRLS SHIRTS:
OLIVE SHAPE = Girls size S $8.99
CASINO CHIP SHAPE = Girls size M $8.99
BOWTIE SHAPE = Girls size L   SOLDOUT
 

MENS SHIRTS:
PIANO SHAPE = Mens size M $9.99
MICROPHONE SHAPE = Mens size L $9.99
MARTINI SHAPE = Mens size XL $9.99
CHEESE WEDGE SHAPE = Mens size 2XL $12.99

 

FABULOUS VEGAS T-SHIRT $8.99 / $9.99 [ $4.37 S&H ] SELECT SHIRT SIZE MENS VEGAS M $9.99 MENS VEGAS L $9.99 MENS VEGAS XL $9.99 MENS VEGAS XXL $12.99 GIRLS VEGAS S $8.99 GIRLS VEGAS M $8.99

(GIRLS SHIRTS are for
youth girls, not ladies.
we do not have these
shirts for adult ladies.
see tanktops below.)

Impress your friends with this T-Shirt commemorating Richard Cheese's 2009 Concert Tour, featuring this unique MARTINI HERO logo designed by RC himself!

MENS SIZES:
Mens size L $11.99
Mens size XL $11.99
Mens size XXL $14.99

 

MEN'S MARTINI HERO T-SHIRT $11.99 [ $4.37 S&H ] SELECT SHIRT SIZE MARTINI HERO L $11.99 MARTINI HERO XL $11.99 MARTINI HERO XXL $14.99

click to enlarge

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"I ♥ DICK" LADIES TANKTOPS
FOR CHICKS WHO LOVE DICK!

These popular "I Love Dick" tanktops will show the world just how much support you have for Richard Cheese.  Make a statement with your rack!

LADIES SIZES:
Ladies size S $9.99
Ladies size M $9.99
Ladies size L $9.99
Ladies size XL $10.99

LADIES I LOVE DICK TANKTOPS $9.99 [ $4.17 S&H ] SELECT SHIRT SIZE I LOVE DICK TANKTOP S $9.99 I LOVE DICK TANKTOP M $9.99 I LOVE DICK TANKTOP L $9.99 I LOVE DICK TANKTOP XL $10.99

 NOTE
NO RETURNS, EXCHANGES,
OR REFUNDS ON CLOTHING.

click to enlarge


click to enlarge

bonus picture!

click to enlarge
if you aren't already

"I ♥ DICK" LADIES THONGS
FOR CHICKS WHO *REALLY* LOVE DICK!

Show someone you love just how much you love Richard Cheese with one of these naughty "I Love Dick" thongs!  Your vagina will thank you!

LADIES SIZES:
Ladies size 1  $9.99
Ladies size 2  $9.99
Ladies size 3  $9.99

LADIES COLORS:
Pink logo on Black thong - pink soldout!
Black logo on Pink thong

LADIES I LOVE DICK THONGS $9.99 [ $3.67 S&H ] SELECT THONG SIZE I LOVE DICK THONG SIZE 1 (SMALL) $9.99 I LOVE DICK THONG SIZE 2 (MEDIUM) $9.99 I LOVE DICK THONG SIZE 3 (LARGE) $9.99

 NOTE
NO RETURNS, EXCHANGES,
OR REFUNDS ON CLOTHING.

click to enlarge

"MY MOMMY ♥ DICK" BABY SHIRTS
SHOW EVERYONE THAT CHEESE RUNS IN THE FAMILY!

Everyone at your next playdate will be drooling over these adorable "My Mommy Loves Dick" baby shirts!  Perfect for church!

BABY SIZES:
Baby size 12month (small)
Baby size 24month (medium)

BABY T-SHIRT $9.99 [ $3.67 S&H ] SELECT SHIRT SIZE BABY SHIRT SMALL (12MONTHS) $9.99 BABY SHIRT LARGE (24MONTHS) $9.99

 NOTE
NO RETURNS, EXCHANGES,
OR REFUNDS ON CLOTHING.

baby model:
Milo

click to enlarge

TIGER-STRIPED TIES
SWING AROUND THE COLLAR!

These limited edition custom hand-made neckties feature unique prints based on patterns from Richard Cheese's personal tuxedos.  Just like the ones Bobby, Frank, and the rest of the cats wear on stage!  Tie one on!
 

TIGER-STRIPED TIE $20.49 [ $5.47 S&H ]

 NOTE
NO RETURNS, EXCHANGES,
OR REFUNDS ON CLOTHING.

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

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MARTINI POSTERS
COVER YOUR WALLS WITH CHEESE!

Make your rec room swing with a fabulous Richard Cheese "Martini" poster. Each poster is personally signed by RC to YOU!  These fine quality posters are limited edition; once they're gone, they're gone forever!

POSTER DESIGNS:
Blue/Microphone "Tomorrow's Standards Today" 4-color 13" x 20" $19.49
Red/Anaheim House Of Blues "New Year's Eve" full-color 11" x 18" $11.49
Black/Chicago Dunk "September 8, 2007" 2-color 17" x 23" $15.49

 

RICHARD CHEESE POSTER INCLUDES FREE AUTOGRAPH $11.49 / $15.49 / $19.49 [ $6.27 S&H ] CHOOSE POSTER STYLE BLUE MICROPHONE MARTINI $19.49 ANAHEIM NEW YEAR'S EVE $11.49 CHICAGO DUNK $15.49 ENTER NAME FOR AUTOGRAPH HERE: (keep it short, first name only, no messages!)

click to enlarge

8x10 PHOTOS
PERSONALLY AUTOGRAPHED TO YOU!

Show the world that you're Down with the Dickness with these limited edition 8x10 pictures of Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine, personally signed by RC to you or your loved one!

THIS MONTH'S 8x10 PHOTO:
New York Subway
 

RICHARD CHEESE 8X10 PHOTO INCLUDES FREE AUTOGRAPH $4.95 [ $1.67 S&H ] ENTER NAME FOR AUTOGRAPH HERE: (keep it short, first name only, no messages!)

"Chop Suey"

"She Hates Me"
[already sold] 

ORIGINAL RECORDING STUDIO LYRIC SHEETS
ACTUAL ORIGINAL ONE-OF-A-KIND LYRIC SHEETS
USED BY RICHARD CHEESE DURING RECORDING SESSIONS!

These are the ORIGINAL lyric sheets used by Richard Cheese during recording sessions for his albums.  Each sheet includes hand-written notes made by RC himself while he was singing the songs for his CDs.

We guarantee that every lyric sheet is authentic, one-of-a-kind, and will never be available for sale at this website again.  Plus, Richard Cheese will personally autograph the page for you.

Don't miss your chance to own a piece of Cheese History!

 

RICHARD CHEESE LYRIC SHEET INCLUDES FREE AUTOGRAPH $39 [ $3.87 S&H ] ENTER SONG TITLE (FROM LIST BELOW) ENTER NAME FOR AUTOGRAPH HERE: (keep it short, first name only, no messages!)

AVAILABLE LYRIC SHEETS:

CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE SONG!
from the album "LOUNGE AGAINST THE MACHINE" NOOKIE / BREAK STUFF GUERILLA RADIO * COME OUT AND PLAY CLOSER WRONG WAY * BULLET THE BLUE SKY CREEP LAST RESORT * RAPE ME * WHAT'S MY AGE AGAIN * SMACK MY BITCH UP FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT ONLY HAPPY WHEN IT RAINS SUCK MY KISS * HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA ROCKAFELLER SKANK	from the album "TUXICITY" SHE HATES ME  FELL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL BABY GOT BACK   THE SICKNESS  HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO INSANE IN THE BRAIN * RELAX SHAKE YA ASS   HOT FOR TEACHER ONE STEP CLOSER SMOKE TWO JOINTS CHOP SUEY * LOSER MORE HUMAN THAN HUMAN * I USED TO LOVE HER * (YOU DRIVE ME) CRAZY * BUDDY HOLLY	from the album "I'D LIKE A VIRGIN" GIN & JUICE YELLOW GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS  BUTTERFLY HEY YA  BEAT IT  MILKSHAKE PERSONAL JESUS   MATERIAL GIRL WAR ENSEMBLE STAND UP * FEELING THIS * 99 LUFTBALLONS   ROCK THE CASBAH   LONGVIEW * PUSSY * ARE YOU GONNA BE MY GIRL?	from the album "APERITIF FOR DESTRUCTION" ME SO HORNY * PEOPLE EQUAL SHIT WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE BRASS MONKEY LET'S GET IT STARTED * MAN IN THE BOX * BEEN CAUGHT STEALING THE GIRL IS MINE YOU OUGHTA KNOW ENTER SANDMAN SUNDAYBLOODYSUNDAY WE ARE THE WORLD DO ME * AMERICAN IDIOT * ADD IT UP * SOMEBODY TOLD ME
from the album "SUNNY SIDE OF THE MOON" PEOPLE = SHIT NOOKIE COME OUT AND PLAY CLOSER  CREEP  RAPE ME  ROCK THE CASBAH   HOT FOR TEACHER FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT SUNDAYBLOODYSUNDAY FREAK ON A LEASH  THE WALL GIN & JUICE GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS BUST A MOVE BABY GOT BACK   BADD BITCH * THE SICKNESS	from the album "SILENT NIGHTCLUB" HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA LIKE A VIRGIN CHRISTMAS IN VEGAS.  JINGLE BELLS ICE ICE BABY DO THEY KNOW IT'S      CHRISTMAS PERSONAL JESUS IMAGINE NAUGHTY GIRL XMASTIME IS HERE THE TREES I MELT WITH YOU SILENT NIGHT	from the album "DICK AT NITE" SOUTH PARK THEME THREE'S COMPANY SPIDER-MAN SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS THE BRADY BUNCH AQUATEEN HUNGER FORCE FRIENDS GOOD TIMES BONANZA THE JEFFERSONS GILLIGAN'S ISLAND SCOOBY DOO WKRP IN CINCINATTI	from the album "VIVA LA VODKA" SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT BRASS MONKEY CRAZY BITCH ME SO HORNY THREE'S COMPANY LOLLIPOP DON'T CHA TOXIC YOU SHOOK ME AIRBAG GUERILLA RADIO WKRP IN CINCINNATI VIVA LAS VEGAS VIVA LA VIDA coming soon: "LAVAPALOOZA" and "O.K. BARTENDER"
* indicates explicit lyrics printed on page

 NOTE
LYRICS SHEETS MAY BE
MAILED SEPARATELY
FROM OTHER ITEMS.

WHY IS RICHARD SELLING THESE?
Your support helps Richard Cheese pay for the
recording costs of his CDs!
  

BIRTHDAY CARD
"THANK YOU,
GOODNIGHT!"
click to enlarge
 

HOLIDAY CARD
"WISHING YOU
A SWINGIN'
HOLIDAY
SEASON"
click to enlarge

cartoon drawing
by U.K. artist
Douglas Pledger
www.douggy.com

BIRTHDAY CARD or CHRISTMAS CARD
PERSONALLY SIGNED AND SENT FROM RICHARD CHEESE!

Have Dick send a personally signed birthday card, anniversary card, or get well card to your loved one, any day of the year!!

Or, have Dick send a personally signed holiday greeting card to someone on your list in December 2009!

Richard Cheese will sign the card personally to your friend, family member, or warden!

2 GREETING CARD CHOICES:

(A) MARTINI GREETING CARD
(birthday, anniversary, any occasion)
SAMPLE!
These cards will be sent within 7 days of order.

THIS CARD CAN BE USED FOR
ALL OCCASIONS, INCLUDING BIRTHDAY,
ANNIVERSARY, CONGRATULATIONS,
GRADUATION, OR GET WELL WISHES!

(B) HOLIDAY GREETING CARD
(Christmas season)

Holiday cards ordered today will be mailed
in December 2009.

 

RICHARD CHEESE GREETING CARD PERSONALLY SIGNED $3.95 [ $2.97 S&H ] SELECT CARD TYPE HAPPY BIRTHDAY (MARTINI CARD) HAPPY ANNIVERSARY (MARTINI CARD) HOLIDAY (CHRISTMAS CARD) OTHER OCCASION (SPECIFY BELOW) ENTER CARD RECIPIENT'S NAME: ENTER RECIPIENT ADDRESS: use a slash  /  to separate address lines (John Smith / 123 Main Street / Anytown NY 54321)   INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS: DO NOT PAY NON-U.S. ADD-ON FEE IF THIS ITEM IS YOUR ONLY PURCHASE.

WHAT A GREAT
GIFT IDEA!

 NOTE
BE SURE TO SPECIFY THE
FULL NAME AND COMPLETE
ADDRESS OF WHO YOU
WANT THE CARD MAILED
TO.  THAT NAME&ADDRESS
WILL BE PRINTED ON THE
OUTSIDE OF THE ENVELOPE,
THE ENVELOPE GETS
STAMPED, AND THAT GETS
PUT IN THE MAIL.

A PERSONAL CALL FROM RICHARD CHEESE
HAVE DICK CALL YOUR FRIEND AND LEAVE A
PERSONAL VOICEMAIL MESSAGE!

Birthday?  Anniversary?  Job Promotion?  Acquittal?  Whatever the occasion, just give us your friend's cellphone number, and Richard Cheese will PERSONALLY call and leave a personal voicemail message for him or her!

Richard will make the phone call on whatever day you specify, during normal business hours, assuming he's not drunk.

CLICK HERE TO HEAR A SAMPLE
VOICE MAIL MESSAGE!
 

 OFFER DETAILS
RICHARD WILL NOT CALL AND TALK TO THE PERSON; THIS OFFER IS ONLY FOR A BRIEF VOICEMAIL MESSAGE TO BE LEFT ON THE PERSON'S VOICEMAIL.  RICHARD WILL ONLY LEAVE ONE VOICEMAIL MESSAGE ON ONE CELLPHONE NUMBER PER CUSTOMER.  WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CELLPHONE OR VOICEMAIL TECHNOLOGY PROBLEMS, AND ONCE RICHARD LEAVES THE MESSAGE, NO REFUNDS SHALL BE GIVEN.  THIS OFFER IS FOR PERSONAL NON-COMMERCIAL USE ONLY.  BROADCAST, PUBLIC REPLAY, DISTRIBUTION, OR OTHER UNAUTHORIZED USE OF VOICEMAIL MESSAGE IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.  OFFER VOID WHERE PROHIBITED.  OTHER RESTRICTIONS APPLY.

RICHARD CHEESE CALL (USA/Canada only) $45 [ $1.00 S&H ] ENTER RECIPIENT'S NAME AND CELLPHONE NUMBER (XXX) XXX-XXXX WHAT IS THE OCCASION? (birthday, graduation, etc.) Be sure to also include YOUR name and phone number when you check-out.

EXCLUSIVE!

WHAT A GREAT
GIFT IDEA!

 NOTE
U.S. & CANADA PHONE
NUMBERS ONLY, SORRY.
We can do international
calls, but it will cost a lot
more.  Email us for info.

WHY IS RICHARD SELLING THESE?
Your support helps Richard Cheese
pay for the recording costs of his CDs!

GET YOUR NAME PRINTED IN THE
CREDITS OF RICHARD CHEESE'S
NEW 2009 CD "OK BARTENDER"!

[ MORE DETAILS ON THIS OFFER SOON ]

 

NAME-IN-CREDITS OFFER $200 [ $0.00 S&H ] ENTER THE NAME YOU WANT PRINTED IN THE ALBUM CREDITS: (keep it short, first name only, no messages!)

click to enlarge

CUSTOM TIGER-STRIPED TUXEDO JACKET
PERSONALLY TAILORED FOR YOU!

Now you can own an exclusive custom-made tiger-striped tuxedo jacket, just like the one Richard Cheese wears and has to get dry-cleaned 35 times a year.  Each jacket is one-of-a-kind, made-to-order by our expert tailor, according to your personal measurements.

JACKET FEATURES
Double-breasted "smoking jacket" style
Soft 'n' fuzzy imitation tiger-stripe fabric
Satin-like lapel and cuffs
Quality structure and padding
Three outside pockets and one inside pocket
"Richard Cheese" brand label sewn inside
Dry-clean only

 

TIGER-STRIPED TUXEDO JACKET $1695.99 [ $23.57 S&H ] EMAIL US FOR PURCHASE INFO lounge@richardcheese.com Serious inquiries only, please.

PRIORITY MAIL ADD-ON
GET YOUR ENTIRE ORDER SHIPPED FASTER!

If you want U.S. POSTAL SERVICE FLAT RATE BOX PRIORITY MAIL shipping for your order, just add-on the extra $6.90 to your order.

According to the USPS, Priority Mail Packages are "delivered in an average of 2-3 days" to any U.S. destination, including PO boxes and military addresses.

Your order will be delivered approximately 2-3 days after the ship date listed above.

 

PRIORITY MAIL ADD-ON U.S. CUSTOMERS ONLY $6.90 [ $0.01+6.89 S&H ]

 NOTE
IF YOU ORDER MORE THAN
14 OUNCES OF MERCHANDISE,
WE'LL AUTOMATICALLY SEND
YOUR U.S. ORDER VIA PRIORITY
MAIL, AT NO ADDITIONAL
COST!  SO, DON'T BUY THIS
OPTION IF YOU ALREADY
BOUGHT A BUNCH OF STUFF!

EXPRESS MAIL RUSH SERVICE
THE FASTEST WAY TO GET YOUR CHEESE!

If you want U.S. POSTAL SERVICE EXPRESS MAIL service, you need to send us an email message with your complete name, address, and phone number to lounge@richardcheese.com.  The cost of $37.90 will be charged.  Sorry, Express Mail is really expensive!

Express Mail orders received after 11:59AM PST will be processed on the next business day.  Delivery will be within 2 business days after we acknowledge receipt of your order. 

 

EXPRESS MAIL ADD-ON U.S. CUSTOMERS ONLY $37.90 [ $0.01+37.89 S&H ] ENTER YOUR NAME AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER (XXX) XXX-XXXX

JOIN THE OFFICIAL
RICHARD CHEESE SUPERFAN FUNCLUB
GET RICHARD CHEESE'S NEW "VIVA LA VODKA" CD,
PLUS 2 NEW CDs SENT TO YOU IN 2009/2010!

Join the Richard Cheese Super Fan Fun Club and you'll receive the all-new "Viva La Vodka" CD immediately, before it's released in stores on June 23.  AND, you'll AUTOMATICALLY receive Richard Cheese's new "OK Bartender" CD and "Lavapalooza" CD, months before they're released in 2009/2010.  Plus, you'll also receive 3 MORE BONUS CDs, 2 STICKERS, and more!

 6 CDs FOR ONE LOW PRICE!

 

CLICK HERE! super.richardcheese.com

Customer Service
 

CUSTOMER SERVICE

If you haven't received your order within 21 days of the ship date, please wait a couple extra days.

BEFORE YOU CONTACT US, make sure you check with your postal mail carrier and your local post office to see if they're, um, holding your package.  They might have attempted delivery while you were out, or maybe the package wouldn't fit in your mailbox, or maybe the postman thought it was special enough to hold for you.  Contact your LOCAL DELIVERY POST OFFICE, the one that serves YOUR address.  Or, talk directly to the mailman on your route.  They have the answers!

Seriously, wait a couple days, the U.S. Postal Service always comes through.  We have shipped THOUSANDS of CDs to our customers over the years, and we have NEVER LOST AN ORDER.  Just be patient.

MAKE SURE that you are checking your email inbox for our messages.  Do you have messages from lounge@richardcheese.com in your junk mail box? 

PAYMENT

We use PAYPAL for all our transactions; it's REALLY easy, they accept credit cards, no sign-up required.  All prices are in U.S. Dollars. Questions?  Visit www.paypal.com.

We cannot accept payment any other way; no checks, no money orders, no phone orders, no postal orders.  Only PayPal.  Sorry.

Before you begin shopping, PLEASE make sure that the email address and the shipping address you provide to PayPal are your CURRENT and CORRECT addresses.  If you provide us with an invalid address, we will charge you for postage and we will charge you again to re-send your order!

Update your PayPal account addresses by editing your profile at PayPal.com. Click "Profile," then select "Edit Email" and "Edit Street Address."

Your Richard Cheese purchase transaction via PayPal will appear on your credit-card statement as "WORLD INFORMATION SUPPLY" or "WIS RCHEESE" in California.  You will receive a PAYPAL TRANSACTION DETAIL RECEIPT EMAIL.  Please print it and save the email for reference! 

Make sure that you do not have our email addresses in your "junkmail" filter:  you may receive messages from "pp2007 @ wishq.com" or "lounge @ richardcheese.com."

California residents will be charged sales tax.  On concert ticket purchases, residents may be charged state sales tax, too.

Some items/sizes may be discontinued without notice.

All of the CDs we sell at this website (except LATM) are packaged in a recycle-friendly cardboard jacket; no plastic jewel boxes here!

Don't tell us that PayPal sucks, because they really don't.  Millions of people use PayPal every day, we sell thousands of items every year.  So, don't blame PayPal, it's your fault if you can't hook it up.

SHIPPING

PLEASE make sure that the email address and the shipping address you provide to PayPal are your CURRENT and CORRECT addresses.  If you provide us with an invalid address, we will charge you for postage and we will charge you again to re-send your order!

Update your PayPal account addresses by editing your profile at PayPal.com. Click "Profile," then select "Edit Email" and "Edit Street Address."

Orders will be sent via first-class U.S. Postal Service (USPS) mail, not UPS.  UPS sucks.

We usually process all orders within 7 to 10 working days, a little longer for autographed items.  International orders may take an extra couple weeks.  Please be patient, we're a small operation run by drunks.

You will NOT receive a shipment confirmation email from us, we DON'T have a tracking number for you, and you need to just RELAX.  We trust the USPS, they have never ever lost one of our orders.

To place a Priority Mail order, purchase the "PRIORITY MAIL ADD-ON" option (add it to your shopping cart with your other items in the same order).  Priority mail orders will be sent out on or before the current shipdate.  According to the USPS, Priority Mail Packages are "delivered in an average of 2-3 days" from the above ship date to any U.S. destination, including PO boxes and military addresses.  That's all we can tell you.

To place a rush/overnight order, see the "EXPRESS MAIL SHIPPING" option.  But watchout, it's expensive.

If you haven't received your order within 21 days of the ship date, please wait a couple extra days.

BEFORE YOU CONTACT US, make sure you check with your postal mail carrier and your local post office to see if they're, um, holding your package.  They might have attempted delivery while you were out, or maybe the package wouldn't fit in your mailbox, or maybe the postman thought it was special enough to hold for you.  Contact your LOCAL DELIVERY POST OFFICE, the one that serves YOUR address.  Or, talk directly to the mailman on your route.  They have the answers!

Seriously, wait a couple days, the U.S. Postal Service always comes through.  We have shipped THOUSANDS of CDs to our customers over the years, and we have NEVER LOST AN ORDER.  Just be patient.

NON-U.S. CUSTOMERS

DO NOT use any foreign characters!  ä ß ï º Σ ú  NO NO NO!

Non-U.S. orders demand higher shipping and handling fees.

Non-U.S. orders may take several additional weeks for shipping.

WARNING:
ADDITIONAL CUSTOMS FEES MAY BE ADDED BY YOUR COUNTRY'S GOVERNMENT.  SORRY.

ORDER QUESTIONS

If you want a refund, just ask.  Complete refunds are available if you request a refund before your order is shipped.  You must request your refund within 72 hours of purchase.  We love our fans and we will do our best to make you happy.  Exchanges of defective merchandise are allowed within 15 days of delivery.  No returns/exchanges/refunds on clothing items, sorry.

If you haven't received your order within 21 days of the ship date, please wait a couple extra days.

BEFORE YOU CONTACT US, make sure you check with your postal mail carrier and your local post office to see if they're, um, holding your package.  They might have attempted delivery while you were out, or maybe the package wouldn't fit in your mailbox, or maybe the postman thought it was special enough to hold for you.  Contact your LOCAL DELIVERY POST OFFICE, the one that serves YOUR address.  Or, talk directly to the mailman on your route.  They have the answers!

Seriously, wait a couple days, the U.S. Postal Service always comes through.  We have shipped THOUSANDS of CDs to our customers over the years, and we have NEVER LOST AN ORDER.  Just be patient.

If you are nevertheless a paranoid impatient namby-pamby who is convinced that your order is missing, or if you have any other questions, please send us an email:

1. Please be sure to email us from the same email address you ordered with!
    

2. Please forward us your PAYPAL TRANSACTION RECEIPT EMAIL.
    

3. If you don't have the receipt, you suck.  You still must provide this info:

   • Your complete name, address, phone number

   • Transaction date

   • Transaction number and Receipt ID

   • Complete item description, sizes, etc.

   • Your email address, the same email address you ordered with!!

4. Please forward ALL this information to us at lounge@richardcheese.com.

ALL PURCHASES SUBJECT TO TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF THIS WEBSITE.
WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE FOR ANY REASON AT OUR SOLE DISCRETION.
ORDER QUANTITIES MAY BE LIMITED.  SOME ITEMS/SIZES MAY BE DISCONTINUED WITHOUT NOTICE.
THE CROW FLIES AT MIDNIGHT.

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Dear Richard Cheese fan--

I appreciate your support of my music.  However, instead of buying one of my CDs, I would prefer that you please consider donating that money to help those adversely affected by hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and Republicans.

MAKE A DONATION

Thank you, and best wishes.

--RC

Hello.  Thanks very much for buying a fabulous Richard Cheese CD.  We truly hope you enjoy the album, and we also hope you will tell all your friends about Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine.

However, we would like to respectfully ask our fans to resist the temptation to make copies of Richard's songs and give them out via MP3, CDR, email, Kazaa, or any other kind of "Napsteresque" file sharing.  Unauthorized internet distribution like this is a big problem that really hurts Richard Cheese and your other favorite artists.

Richard, his band, and many other people spent lots of time, energy, and money making this CD.  We're not a big media corporation with lots of money; Richard takes money out of his own pocket to pay for these CDs.

So, when you upload MP3s or give away burned CDRs, that means fewer people will go out and buy the CD.  And that means Richard won't be able to recoup his investment, and that means he can't afford to record any more albums.  This is the real and serious consequence of music piracy and illegal downloading.

Yes, the internet helps spread the Cheese, and we do appreciate the great exposure.  But recording, manufacturing, and distribution cost money, and we have to sell as many CDs as possible just to break even.  We aren't in this business just to make money--we don't want a huge profit; just enough to continue making more albums for you to enjoy.

We do this because we love the idea, we love the music, but most of all, we love the fans who support us.  So, please keep supporting us by respecting our hard work, and by making sure you aren't participating in or enabling the crime of stealing music.  Or else I'll come after you with a fucking bayonet.

Both I and Richard truly appreciate your understanding, cooperation, and help.  Thank you for believing in the cheese.

Best,

Jack Monterey, Executive Producer
Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine
lounge@richardcheese.com
 

also read Jack's blog comments at www.myspace.com/richardcheese